“How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge you conscience from dead works to serve the living God?” -Hebrews 9:14

Man, it's been forever since I've written in here.  Well, lets see.  I dropped out of ARC and now I'm going to my church's private school.  I love it there.  ARC just had so much sin dwelling in it.  It would have been hard for me to grow spiritually while hanging out with perverted guys and people that curse all the time.  I know I've already dropped out of two schools..but I think a Christian school is where I need to be.

Right now, I'm focusing on becoming holier and having a closer relationship with God.  That's my main need and want right now.  Without that relationship with Christ, my life is pointless.  I'm also working on bearing fruit, but that's so hard when I don't have the courage to go up to people.

I'm just so happy right now.  I have just realized how Jesus has truly saved my life.  He has given me a reason to live and a standard to look up to.  He's changed me from my old ways and has led me to better things.  He's always been there for me even when I thought I was alone.  He hasn't forsaken me once and for that I am truly grateful.  I don't know why I never fully gave myself to God before but I want to give him thanks for all the blessings and love He has given me.  Without it I don't know where I'd be.  Praise God in Heaven for saving my life!

-What we are is God's gift to us.  What we become is our gift to God.

1st day of school was awesome. 

more later..

one clue--cute boys!

So I was looking at all my old entries and I just realized..a lot has changed.  I mean I've changed boys.  I'm changing schools.  I don't do the same things anymore.  Usually I'd go to cr every friday but I don't even do that anymore.  My hobbies have changed.  And my friends have changed and some of them have moved.

Life has just changed a lot.  Before I use to be so unconfident and hate myself.  I guess I was despressed and kinda wanted pity.  But now I've changed so much.  I'm ok with who I am now.  I mean I love me and my life.  I'm comfortable with my skin and what I'm about.  And before I was negative.  I would tell people bad things about my life and not the good.  I guess I wanted pity and I didn't realize it.  And for that I am sorry 'cause I know how annoying that can be.  But I'm not 'punk' or whatever I was anymore.  I'm not into stereotyping and I don't hate preps anymore.  It's just things have changed so much...and for tha better too.  Now I know I can survive through anything.

But as for what's goin on right now-
I need to make some decisions on things.  Well really I need an answer from God on what he wants me to do.  Whichever way I"m suppose to go is gonna be totally different than the other direction.  I know this may be confusing to some people but yeah..I can't really say everything on here.  It's just depends on whether or not something is meant to be.  Which I feel it is...but I'd have to change a lot of things in order for it to.  But I dont know for sure yet.

Man. So much has happened since my last entry.

Too much to explain really.  I found out a lot of stuff about my family...I guess we've been kinda having problems. 

School sucks.  I can't wait for it to end. I'm goin to ARC next year.  So goodbye Davidson.  But then again I'm kinda sad and ..scared.  DFA is all I've ever known really.  I've gone there for about 4 years and now I'm leaving that all behind.  I don't know that many people at ARC so it's gonna be scary.  But atleast if I go I can get out at 2:30..it'll be easy and I can work afterwards.  Plus I need to meet knew people.  I'm so tired of the people at DFA.  We're not gonna get anybody new so I've decided to go to ARC so I can meet some new people.  People that I can actually trust.

And I know my mom's gonna be disappointed.  She's always bragged about me goin to Davidson.  And now that I'm goin to a regular school what is there for her to be proud of now.  I feel like I'm lettin her down a lil.

And I haven't seen my friends from Dayspring in a long time.  I miss them so much.

I've been straying away from church too.  I haven't gone in a long time and I can feel myself changing.  I don't like it.  I want that love of Jesus Christ again.  But it's just so hard to go back.  The church I like is so far away and I can't get a ride.

I had an appointment with the Counselor today 'cause of Mrs. Walpert.  I didn't go.  I don't think I can trust her with everything.  I never should have told Mrs. Walpert anything.  I should have known she'd make me go to the counselor.  Well anyways that's it for the update.

I hope everyone's doing lovely.

loveyou